will he ever know?
Sooo it’s been a week. I miss my ex. lmao I’ve been trying to busy myself and rid my mind of him, but as my friend so obviously was stating it isn’t working.
It is, but it’s not. Like I still want to talk to him. I can’t cuz I KNOW I’ll want to STILL want to kiss him, call him baby and hug him. I can’t trap myself. I gotta be strong. I sometimes sit back and are looking at my feet and miss the days he was SPRUNG. Man he gave me foot massages. Lawd, I miss all of that. I miss playing with hair and discovering new locs strongly forming. I miss holding his hand. I miss my friendship I thought we had. I miss my overprotective boyfriend.
Idk if giving life to how I feel is good progress or a step backwards, but I still care about him. grrr After all that bullshit, stress and tears I miss my baby.
I’ve been thinking about the psychological aspects of our relationship and I’ve come to conclusion that I don’t want to refer to a partner as baby again. It has too many fucked up effects. It possibly infantizes the male and creates a bond inside of me that I’m not trying to create with a grown ass man. Leave the baby titles for babies. Refer to beginning of Baby Boy for more information lol.
Do I just lay in bed and write myself some sweet poetry? I wanna be seduced and it seems like only I can do that.
Not mention the fact that I’m still into Sean so, I can’t even date or talk to another guy. ughhh I feel sick. Why does a broken heart take so damn long to heal? Smdh I had to explain to the girl @ a food place that we use to go to together that we had broken up. lol It was so awkward, but she was so cute about it. lol Gave me a lil pep talk lol She is too dope.
Yeahhh I’m just gonna keep doing me and chill out.
Say have low self esteem and use that as a pretext to complain about ugly they are all the time, knowing damn well they are fine as fuck. I dont have the patience nor the time to stand here helping you feel pretty and shit, that should be all you. You better watch a Disney movie and believe and shit. Nah.